The science of sex, love, and attachment | Dr. Helen Fisher: Full Interview

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“Nobody gets out of love alive. We all suffer. We all have disappointments. It’s such a powerful brain system.”

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Why do we fall in love with one person over another? The late biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher unpacks the evolutionary roots of romantic love, sex, and attachment.

Using research derived from the ethnographies of hunter-gatherer societies and fMRI brain scans Fisher explains how love functions as a powerful survival mechanism.

00:00:00 A life shaped by love and curiosity
00:00:17 What was growing up like for you?
00:00:47 When did you first learn about sex?
00:03:30 What is the importance of sex in our lives?
00:06:13 How did your family life lead you to study the brain?
00:08:19 Is love supernatural?
00:09:23 Love is a drive, not a feeling
00:09:33 Why did humans evolve in a way other mammals did not?
00:17:18 How did you conduct your FMRI studies?
00:19:14 What did you find in your FMRI studies?
00:21:30 Did you think about the reviewer who called love “supernatural”?
00:21:54 Could you describe your next study?
00:24:15 How can this information be used?
00:26:12 How to make love last
00:28:25 How can we maintain a long-term relationship?
00:29:19 What is science doing to expand our understanding of love?
00:30:13 What work do you do with Match.com?
00:34:37 How is online dating affecting love?
00:37:22 What is “slow love”?
00:41:07 How are millennials approaching love?
00:43:31 Are men and women different?
00:53:59 Why are millennials different?
00:55:16 Does this change from city to city?
00:57:27 Does sex, love, and attachment always happen in that order?
01:05:04 What are the findings of your work?

Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/full-interview/helen-fisher-science-of-love/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description

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About Helen Fisher:

Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D. biological anthropologist, was a Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and a Member of the Center For Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University. She wrote six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships — what she called: slow love.

From: Big Think

Date: June 13, 2025

35 thoughts on “The science of sex, love, and attachment | Dr. Helen Fisher: Full Interview”

I have learned that “Love — as defined by the epistemology of חֶסֶד — is not just an emotion or desire but a universal pattern in nature.

Interdisciplinary science measures it as trust, reciprocity, and cooperation.

It operates as a non-coercive systems principle of resilience and coherence.

Supernatural belief is not required to experience it, but its effects are as consequential as gravity.

Alignment produces flourishing. Misalignment produces entropy.”

Want to know if love is real? Test it!!

Paste my Hypothesis (in quotes above) into any AI chat and ask —

“Using a systems science lens, history and publicly available studies as a data set, did Mesopotamia, Egypt, Athens, and Rome thrive or fall in proportion to their alignment with patterns of love in nature?”

Validate or falsify. The data decides.

Millenial here – thank you! we are cautious and very serious about love ^-^

Having casual sex, falling in love? I think it's a two edge sword. one party may not always fall in love. sad but truth. rather not take the risk.

Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.

Me and my husband come from completely different background but I fell for him because he sees me for who I am and i love how he treats me!

I hope she found God before she died. We are not mammals, we are humans created after the animals were created. Love and marriage are supposed to reflect Jesus Christ's love for the church – all who believe in Him for their salvation. He created the workings of love which she explains, but we are not animals or machines.